{"id":1080,"date":"2007-08-31T11:21:00","date_gmt":"2007-08-31T18:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bibik.org\/blog\/?p=1080"},"modified":"2007-08-31T11:21:00","modified_gmt":"2007-08-31T18:21:00","slug":"1080","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/2007\/08\/31\/1080\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I do not understand how to live life for myself.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m so afraid of what other people think that I never challenge myself, I focus my energies into characteristics and abilities that come naturally and I spend too much money on trinkets (some of which <a href=\"http:\/\/mbibik.dyndns.org\/gallery\/v\/2007\/Braeburn+08_02_2007\/\">costing hundreds of thousands of dollars<\/a>) to bring more positive attention to myself.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m trying to get over this.  Paying attention to the attention only causes anxiety, reducing my abilities and making me look worse to other people.  &#8216;Tis a silly cycle but it&#8217;s a roundabout with an a single entrance that closes behind you.  I&#8217;ve spent numerous years fearing failure to the point where I&#8217;ve been paralyzed into doing nothing certain nights but reading (and not posting to) internet forums.  I&#8217;m going to beat this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I do not understand how to live life for myself. I&#8217;m so afraid of what other people think that I never challenge myself, I focus my energies into characteristics and abilities that come naturally and I spend too much money on trinkets (some of which costing hundreds of thousands of dollars) to bring more positive [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1080"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1080\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bibik.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}