Flame Warriors: The illustrations are cute but the real draw here is a fairly accurate list of the various people you will find on an internet forum. I'd draw parallels to various boards I read but no one here would get it.

GRRAARRRGGGHH. My disdain for America has grown considerably. I cannot stand, absolutely cannot stand the whitewashing, plain-polishing this country is receiving. Here are the two newest chunks of hatred added to my fire:

• Guy Ritchie, director of such entertaining movies as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch and BMW's The Hire, directed a cute commercial for the upcoming Corvette. It shows a young boy dreaming about the car, flying (literally flying) it across playgrounds, schools, etc and then driving spiritedly through a downtown environment. It is obviously not realistic as the car flies, does a 360 through a drainage pipe, etc. Seven different groups have protested the commercial explaining that the commercial encourages children to recklessly drive cars. AutoWeek and Nabisco complained about the complainers. You can see the commercial here.
• I don't even want to talk about this one. Teachers are now using purple ink instead of red ink when correcting homework because red is "scary".

People, do me a favor and die in a fire.

Why can't a brotha hit up a little Kazaa (lite, of course) for a lil' free music no mo'? I'm looking for the new Prodigy single (Girls) and there are hundreds of copies, none of which are the real song. Sigh. I really wish my hard drive of 12 GB of MP3s wasn't wiped as I really need some variety right now.

Spamusement!: Take a look at "Tiny teen takes on giant one-eyed monster!" and "who likes masturbators!". Funny, funny stuff.

I've decided that the new hires at Microsoft are a little soft in the head when it comes to life. There is a mailing alias for new grads and new hires and most of the traffic involves the basics like who is a good doctor on the Eastside (I think there have been emails about just about every type of specialist as well, including the guy who asked about a good gyno for his wife), has anyone gone to such-and-such location for a vacation, etc. Someone emailed last week about comments on the Infiniti G35 coupe. He was thinking about getting one and probably sent the email just to make sure he wasn't making a silly decision. Some of the responses were just jaw-dropping. People, if you don't know jack about a topic, please shut up. Here are some of the responses:

• Suggesting a Scion Tc because it was more affordable.
• Suggesting a 350z because it was 6k less.
• Said the G35 was better than the 350z (which he called a Skyline, sigh) because there were fewer around MS campus.
• "But personally, I find driving such fast cars a waste in a country where the speed limit is 65 miles."
• "I guess I would probably also look at the lower end Audio A4s or the BMW 3 series." Whaaat?
• Suggesting the 330ci because they drive one and they got a special one-off deal from BMW of Bellevue. Hello? He can't get that deal.
• Saying it wasn't a great choice because a RWD car in Seattle is scary and then saying the car is too heavy for tracking then suggesting the RX-8, Evo, WRX STi and the S2000.
• Suggesting the M3 then going on and on about how it is his favorite car. Good for you.
• Saying the G35 coupe looks exactly like an RSX so he should just get the RSX because it is cheaper: "The horse power of RSX is from 160 to 200, much smaller than G35’s 280 HP, but because of the speed limit, we won’t be able to fully use 280 HP anyways. 160 is already a lot for everyday driving."
• Suggesting a 2005 Vette because he doesn't see many around.... that might be because they haven't been released yet.
• I dont even know where this guy is coming from: "I read that stock the car gets 0-60 in 6.2 sec, and with the turbo (stage 1) it can do it in 3.2 sec…that accurate?" 3.2 seconds? Nothing on the street has a 0-60 of 3.2 seconds as the Enzo is sluggish at 3.3 seconds.
• Suggesting waiting for the E90 3 series.

Damnit, Zig! You had to go out and get an M3, making me change my car chart. I guess it is sort of redundant to list who is best at each category since you took 'em all! As a side note, congrats to Jenn who is about to pick up her WRB WRX.

Car	Owner	HP	0-60	1/4 mile	600 ft slalom	60-0 braking
SVT Focus	Mike	170	7.4	15.4	66.8	119
Impala	Kat	200	7.6	15.8	62.1	130
BMW M3 SMG	Zig	333	5.3	13.8	67.7	113
WRX	Jeff/Jenn	227	6.1	14.5	65.4	123

Ok, that is really weird. In a span of fifteen minutes, both my phone and my laptop locked up on me and neither have ever done so before. Freaky.